CAUTION. SPOILERS.
This Chronology is an evolving timeline and assumes the reader is fully acquainted with the Wapsi Square comic storyline to date.
Readers who have not read the complete series are strongly advised against consulting this page, as due to its nature, no spoiler will be withheld.
Sources and methods[]
This timeline of the events on the world of Wapsi Square is compiled from three sources:
1) The Wapsi Square comic itself, presented in normal typeface.
2) Events from real world history, presented in boldface.
3) Events from real world myth and legend, and their approximate dates, presented in italics.
While the comic is authoritative in the events that happen in the world in which it takes place, not all characters are equally reliable or informed when describing events in the past.
Events without specific dates are marked with bullet points in their presumed chronological order.
Syncopation with the real world[]
Another issue is the pacing of the comic, which may not reflect the passing of time on a day-to-day equivalency with the real world from its beginning in 2001 to the present (2011). Thus, dates for the characters in the 1990s and later are estimated, based on best presented evidence.
Along these lines, the passage of seasons are noted with the date of the comic--not the storyline--in {fancy brackets}. The coming and going of Minnesota winters are a recurring joke in Wapsi Square, but match their passage in the real world without taking into account how this would affect the story arc if taken literally.
Chronology[]
BC[]
200,000-50,000
Approximate dates for the appearance of Homo sapiens sapiens. --Wikipedia, "Homo sapiens sapiens"
- Demons arrive from the Demon World, itself a "timeless" place, in order to infest early humans.
40,000-30,000
Writing develops in this period to a degree of sophistication that draws the attention of the Library, a sentient dimension separate from Earth that collects all written material. Any one of the following may have been the catalyst for depositing works by humans into the Library:
Numerical tallies date as early as 40,000 BC --Wikipedia, "History of writing ancient numbers"
Wall paintings begin between 40,000-32,000 BC --Wikipedia, "Cave painting"
"Scholars make a reasonable distinction between prehistory and history of early writing, but have disagreed concerning when prehistory becomes history and when proto-writing became 'true writing'. The definition is largely subjective. Writing, in its most general terms, is a method of recording information and is composed of glyphs." --Wikipedia, "History of writing"
- Therefore, the Library may notice humanity as early as sometime between 40,000 and 30,000 BC.
- Discovering humans are infested with demons, the Library dispatches apotropaic sphinxes to destroy the demons. No mercy is required toward the afflicted humans.
30,000-28,000
Homo neanderthalensis, an illiterate species, goes extinct. (Remnants may survive as late as 22,000 BC.) --Wikipedia, "Neanderthal"
28,000-10,500
- Lanthis becomes the most advanced civilization in the world under a matriarchy.
- Jin exhibits visions and/or mental displacement in time, which at some point involves demon infestation.
- Mayahuel designs the Calendar Machine to tap into the power of the Milky Way's rotation in order to stabilize Jin's mind. When it begins functioning, everyone in the room with it becomes immortal (but not invulnerable). This includes Mayahuel, Jin and Kukulcan.
- Lanthian matriarchy overthrown in a religious war and replaced with patriarchy. Priests gain control of the Calendar Machine.
- Mayahuel creates Tepoz, her first golem, made perhaps from rats and weasels. He is small, immortal, but not very invincible.
- Mayahuel leaves instructions for herself to be transformed into a golem. She is so transformed, but the method is now in the hands of the priests. Mayahuel departs with Calendar Machine.
- Priests round up 18-year old girls in order to locate Jin, so that they can find Mayahuel.
- Several weeks after Mayhuel's departure, Tepoz meets Jin disguised as a boy.
- Brandilyn Oduya, a Lanthian girl of African descent, is captured by priests while she is defending a nursery.
- Acacia Budur, a Lanthian girl of Mediterranean descent, is captured by priests while fetching water for her family. Bud is brought with Brandi to a ziggurat in order to build the Chimera. Jin attempts to free them, but is caught, and attempts to kill herself before the three are immolated.
10,500
The Chimera is created. It slips the control of its makers, and burns Lanthian civilization to the ground.
- Bia, Titan of Force, is on the Lanthian mainland, and is targeted by the Chimera for two direct blasts of fire, shocking her greatly. Charon, ferryman of Hades, guards her by physically interposing himself. He recounts to her a prophecy that Sibyl has told him, regarding a descendant of Bia's "who will set the Powers right".
- Quite possibly subsequent to the Chimera's attack, Prometheus is punished for giving fire to mankind. Bia and her brother Kratos are sent by Zeus to bind Prometheus to Mount Kaukasos. --theoi.com, "Prometheus"
The Chimera alters the polarity of the Earth's axis.
- The Great Sphinx of Giza is built as a warning and a reminder of the lost civilization of Lanthis.
- Glyph readers separate the Chimera into three separate entities.
- The Timekeepers, including Mayahuel, assign Tepoz as the Keeper of the golems separated from the Chimera, and he makes the effort to restore the original personalities to them for the first time in thousands of years, creating the Golem Girls. The Golem Girls bear outward resemblance to and the suppressed memories of the girls sacrificed to create the Chimera.
- The first question Jin is able to ask is to see her mother.
- While under Tepoz' care, Brandi makes a deal with entities of the Demon World.
- Tepoz takes the Golem Girls to the Western Hemisphere.
c. 5200?
The adventurer Gisaultees flourishes.
c. 4400
Heyday of the Etheitians, a high human civilization commanding crystal and stargate technologies.
- The Etheitians make plans to build legions of golems, but are interrupted by Brandi's creation of the World Grid.
4354
Brandi installs the last vimana cell and completes the World Grid, preventing "Titans and the Elder Gods from ever reaching Earth again". This triggered a VEI-7 eruption in Kikai Caldera (Wikipedia: "Kikai Caldera"), and violent storms and earthquakes the world over. Overlaps in the Grid create twelve vortices of greater permeation, such as the Bermuda Triangle. Brandi tricks the Etheitians into entering data crystals held under Mapimí, with imperfect results.
- Neolithic trade tokens evolve into cuneiform by the 31st Century BC --Wikipedia, "Cuneiform"
c. 3000
Lily and five other girls become stranded in the desert near Mesa Verde; Lily dies alone in a dust storm, and rises as a vampire.
2686–2181
Old Kingdom of Egypt: "name given to the period in the 3rd millennium BC when Egypt attained its first continuous peak of civilization" --Wikipedia "Old Kingdom of Egypt"
c. 1500-400
Olmec civilization flourishes. "Pre-Olmec cultures had flourished in the area since about 2500 BCE" --Wikipedia, "Olmec"
c. 1350
Bud does something to upset Amenhotep IV. --Wikipedia, "Akhenaten"
c. 1190?
Trojan War. The adventurer Odysseus flourishes. --Wikipedia, "Troy VIIa", and "Wilusa"
8th Century?
Nudge meets Oedipus of Thebes in the Library, and gives him a book to throw at Phix, who is guarding Thebes against humans carrying demons for one single day. Oedipus throws this book, containing Nudge's sentence of exile, at Phix, destroying it. Nudge escapes the Library, Phix is condemned to take her place there, and Oedipus embellishes his story.
c. 700
Earliest surviving written mention of Oedipus in Hesiod's Works and Days, as a king in a struggle against his two sons.
6th Century
The Iliad is compiled around this time, with the earliest surviving written mention of the Chimera: "a thing of immortal make, not human, lion-fronted and snake behind, a goat in the middle, and snorting out the breath of the terrible flame of bright fire". --Wikipedia, "Chimera (mythology)"
360
Plato's dialogues Timaeus and Critias are the earliest that describe Atlantis; Plato insists this knowledge comes from the Egyptians. --Wikipedia, "Atlantis"
356
Alexander the Great is born
336
Alexander becomes king of the Macedons
312
Appian Way paved between Rome and Capua
c. 100
Teotihuacán founded --Wikipedia, "Teotihuacan"
CE[]
562
Wak Chan K’awiil, King "Double Bird", was defeated and sacrificed when Tikal’s neighbors overthrew him. --Wikipedia, "Tikal--Late Classic"
- Mayahuel attempts to destroy the Calendar Machine; Jin is present. Mayahuel enters the Demon World.
=====
Approximate date to which the Calendar Machine resets the spacetime of the Milky Way, 56 times.
=====
Before this date are events which are identical to all 57 iterations of Earth history, as they only occured once.
Following this date are listed events for the 57th iteration of Earth, in which the comic is set.
For chronology of the other 56 "reset" Earths, see Time Loop Chronology.
7th-8th Centuries
Teotihuacán abandoned after a series of uprisings; "the burning was limited to the structures and dwellings associated primarily with the elite class." --Wikipedia, "Teotihuacan"
- Tepoz and the Golem Girls are left behind when Teotihuacán is deserted.
681-808
Mayan city of Yaxchilan at its height. --Wikipedia, "Yaxchilan"
795-1014
Vikings raid Ireland. --Wikipedia, "Viking expansion"
9th Century
Earliest texts which would become the Arabian Nights first recorded.
1362
Norsemen may have explored Minnesota. --Wikipedia, "Kensington Runestone"
1479
Aztec Sun Stone Calendar completed. --truman.edu via archive.org
16th Century
Bananas introduced to the Americas by Portuguese sailors who bring the fruits from West Africa. --Wikipedia, "Banana"
c. 1600
Tepoz "out for 400 years" beginning around here. Possibly meaning his being an unmoving statue.
17th-18th Century
The westward migrating Ojibwe name the Wapsipinicon River, Waabizipinikaan-ziibi ("river abundant in swan-potatoes"). --Wikipedia, "Wapsipinicon River"
1704
The stories of Aladdin and Ali Baba are added to the Arabian Nights by Antoine Galland.
--Wikipedia, "Ali Baba" and "Antoine Galland"
1858
May 11 Minnesota admitted into the United States as the 32nd state.
1890s
Suzy McBride is a vampire on the prowl.
1901
Nikola Tesla begins construction of the Wardenclyffe Tower, a wireless communication and power broadcast station.
1917
Wardenclyffe Tower destroyed on orders of the United States Government. -- Wikipedia, "Wardenclyffe Tower"
1930s
- Yummy Tea's grandmother refuses the passionate advances of Diego Rivera.
--Wikipedia, "Frida Kahlo--Marriage"
1940s
Earliest recounted incident of the 52 Pickup prank. --pagat.com
1941-1945
Monica's maternal grandfather, Aaron Sullivan serves in the European Theater of World War II as a motorcycle dispatch driver.
1945
The U-296 retrieves the Lanthian Relic from Ireland. En route toward the Caribbean, a fight breaks out on board, and after the captain shoots the last of his crew, he turns the gun on himself. The submarine sinks in the Bermuda Triangle with the Relic.
- Aaron Sullivan discovers the location of the Calendar Machine with his lover Jin, the "Golden-eyed Woman", and later records his adventures on reel-to-reel tapes.
- Phix gives birth to a boy in Limbo; Bia convinces her to give him up and have him raised by the Wahnee family on Earth. She then takes the guise of a Comanche girl, befriends him, and later marries him. Maintaining her guise, she studies ancient cultures of the American Southwest.
1960
November 17 RuPaul born.
1967
The concept of Men In Black (MIB) is popularized in an essay by UFOlogist John Keel. He later hypothesizes that MIB are "ultraterrestrials", "shape-changing, non-human entities" not necessarily originating from space. --Wikipedia, "John Keel"
1968
Part of Nicollet Ave. in Minneapolis is converted into Nicollet Mall --Wikipedia, "Nicollet Mall"
1969
Lily Tomlin joins the cast of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. --Wikipedia, "Lily Tomlin"
1970
July - An Athena test missile goes off course and crashes at Mapimí. --Wikipedia, "Mapimí Silent Zone"
This uncovers a room containing an infant, Katherine Gilchrist, who is rescued by the MIB and the USAF.
- Bia has seven sons by Mr. Wahnee. Sometime in this period she crafts the four compressed diamond figurines for use in the Calendar ritual.
1976
May - Orson Miller's aircraft crash lands in the Mapimí Desert, where he discovers a cave containing set of seven kachina.
1980
December 11 Magnum, P.I. debuts on CBS. --Wikipedia, "Magnum, P.I."
- Amanda Erlich born, possibly the same year as Monica.
- Monica Villarreal born.
- About a year later, Bia gives birth to Shelly Wahnee. Shelly is youngest of eight siblings, all the rest of whom are boys.
- Monica's great-grandmother dies when Monica is two years old.
- At around this time, a young Yummy Tea notices his grandmother owns a statue that may be well be Tepoz, with which she seems to have conversations.
- Monica learns Glyph from ages three to fourteen from someone she believes is her great-grandmother. Her actual teacher is Mayahuel, speaking to her from the Demon World.
1985
- Amanda is traumatized by the friendliness of a big dog.
- Amanda is "like a big sister" to Monica in kindergarten and thereafter.
- Shelly grows up "in the southwest" United States.
1990s
- Operation Desert Storm. A dig at the Dead Sea is attacked; Katherine Gilchrist is the only survivor.
- Bia pretends to die when Shelly is ten. Shelly begins having troubled dreams about a rabbit.
- Shelly becomes hypnotized by one of her mother's chotskis for an entire day.
1992
November First Holidazzle Parade in Nicollet Mall --holidazzle.com
- Shelly is a bully in grade school in Minnesota, but defends Owen.
- Monica takes ballet in junior high school.
- Monica tells her family about visiting her great-grandmother; her father tells her her great-grandmother has been dead for twelve years.
- Shelly's dreams lead her to wander into the Minnesota woods for five days on a vision quest when she is thirteen. Nudge, in the guise of Coyote, causes her to become lost. She goes into hypovolaemic shock, crushing her demons into a single entity, Creepy Little Girl, who subsequently manifests as her Conscience. She is found in this condition by Jin, in the guise of Tochtli, the Aztec rabbit spirit associated with Tepoztecatl. Jin tells Shelly to keep the dolls Shelly's mother left her safe.
- When she is fourteen, Monica runs from Tina's demons in the streets of Mexico City. She runs in front of a bus causing a traffic collision that nearly kills her, and does kill Tina. Since Tina's demons are directly responsible for causing Monica physical harm, it is possible that time stands still because of this forbidden act. If so, it is unknown how time resumes moving.
- In any case, Tina's demons are cursed with amnesia, and are trapped in Tina's body. Nudge joins them in the local morgue, and reanimates the body without the expired Tina.
- Because of her apparent suicide attempt, Monica spends the next four years under psychiatric care, variously described as extended 'hospital' stays" or outright being committed; likely including verbal drills, shock therapy and other "invasive" techniques.
- The reanimated Tina returns to Miami, where she has her face and teeth repaired and goes through the dead Tina's things.
- Tina moves to Minnesota and opens Mucho Mocha coffee shop in Wapsi Square.
1994
December 1 HGTV network launches.
- Amanda and Monica both work on the yearbook at their high school.
- Monica gets Dietzel as a puppy. He is hit by a june bug while hanging his head out of a moving car's window.
1997
- Monica starts coming into Mucho Mocha regularly.
1998
January 20 Remains of the Day (1993) released on VHS.
- Shelly in college working on a degree in music theory.
2000
- Shelly, Owen and Jacqui form a band, but can't decide on a name for it.
- Monica meets Shelly while Shelly and Jacqui are looking for a venue.
2001
(The "present" of Wapsi Square begins.)
September 11 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants first published in hardback.
- Shelly, Owen and Jacqui name their band Fermented Banana.
- The Pickledippers play the Twin Cities.
- While still studying in college, Monica works in an antique store. Her studies and job brings her into contact with the local Natural History Museum, cataloging acquisitions.
{December 26 Over the holidays, Monica has "come to terms with Winter in the Northern Midwest".}
2002
- Monica is assigned by the Museum to prepare pre-Colombian artifacts, and she releases Tepoz. She believes him to be a figment of her imagination, and puts him on a bus for Utah.
{February 4 Monica warned of icy roads.}
February 5 Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) released on VHS.
{March 29 Monica surprised by a sudden Spring thunderstorm}
April
27-29 Tepoz probably is present to see the Utah Jazz lose two home games to the Sacramento Kings, knocking them out of the playoffs. --basketball-reference.com
- Owen first meets Lakshmi on a blind date; Jacqui seems to know about Lakshmi beforehand.
- Kevin first meets Monica while preparing an exhibit of his work at her museum.
August 20 Pretty In Pink (1986) first released on DVD.
- Tepoz returns from Utah.
- Tepoz claims he must "return [Monica] a favor every solar year" or he will return to stone.
October 16 The modern Bibliotheca Alexandrina opens in Alexandria, Egypt.
{November 6 Janet needs help sifting through proposals for the Winter Gallery.}
{November 13 Monica considers catching the Autumn foliage in Virginia.}
- Monica's boss, Dr. Gregory Fields, meets Tepoz, but assumes he is an animatronic doll.
- Monica leaves for a week-long vacation with her family in Mexico.
- Owen first meets Heather when they are at the same gig in Iowa.
2003
"Ned Loses Another Loan to DiTech" TV commercials begin airing.
{April 2 Shelly finds the Minnesota weather is improving.}
- Katherine has lived in the Twin Cities for about a year.
- Monica has been going to Mucho Mocha for six years.
2004
- Heather moves to the Twin Cities, and gets a job as program director for KCQ.
- Amanda and Monica travel to Galena, Illinois to photograph a wedding, probably in the Spring, and certainly before June.
- Tepoz first discovers that Monica is a Glyph reader. He learns from Kukulcan about her time under psychiatric care.
- Shelly first meets Tepoz; Monica first tells her of her time under psychiatric care.
{June 4 Owen appreciates Lakshmi in the Springtime.}
- Monica's first poit may be the involuntary removal of her bra through a large sneeze.
October 6 Ghost Hunters TV series debuts.
- Jacqui quits vet school to create a yoga studio.
{December 28 Tina accidentally puts egg nog into Monica's coffee.}
2005
- Heather has been in the Twin Cities "barely a year".
- Monica has been going to Mucho Mocha for "several years"; Tina gives Monica her full name.
- The New World Portal Cloth is delivered to the Museum.
- Tepoz summons the Golem Girls to Monica's home in the guise of drunk coeds.
{October 17 Kevin mistakes the Golem Girls' ashes for a Halloween decoration.}
- When directly confronted by Monica whether he had anything to do with the murder of Bud, Brandi and Jin, Tepoz claims to not to have "come along" until hundreds of years later.
- It is almost ten years since Shelly went on her vision quest, when Tepoz reveals what he knows about Tochtli and Monica's bus accident in Mexico. This means that here, Shelly is either twenty-two or twenty-three years old.
- Shelly first meets Bud and Brandi; she and Monica learn that Tochtli is Jin.
2006
- Monica first meets Jill Sundahl working at the pub Georgette is purchasing.
{March 13 Monica likes Minneapolis in the Spring.}
- Heather first visits Mucho Mocha where she first meets Tina, and first meets Vickie Talbot.
{May 16 Shelly has experienced cold Spring cuddle weather}
{2006 October 2 Shelly looks forward to Fall weather.}
December
Shelly uses her artificial Christmas tree for the last time.
2007
- Monica brings Shelly to the Library, where Shelly meets Phix for the first time. Phix gives Shelly the Hammer.
February 12-14 The Valentine's Day Blizzard buries upstate New York. --Wikipedia, "February 2007 North America blizzard"
March 9 "300" starring Gerard Butler opens in theatres
- Tina reveals to Monica that she is a demon collective.
{2007 October 18 Monica suddenly buried by snow.}
November
Around this time, Shelly sees Justin directing traffic at Holidazzle, and learns he is a cop.
December
Shelly decides to buy a real tree for Christmas.
2008
January
Shelly resolves to become a personal trainer as a new year's resolution.
July 10 Apple launches the App Store --Wikipedia, "App Store (iOS)"
- Bud reveals the existence of the supernatural world to Kevin. Monica fully elaborates upon it to him.
- Kevin and Bud independently, and almost simultaneously, come to the conclusion that there is no need to wait for 2012 to fix the Calendar Machine.
- Brandi meets Tina, sees her clock key and discovers the blade it conceals. Tina gives her the bladed part.
{2009}
- Monica first meets Selenium when he is four years old.
- Kevin leaves to photograph wildlife from a duck blind for four months.
October 2 Stargate SGU premieres
- The Calendar Machine is thrown into the Demon World. Bud follows it there and crushes it into a pebble. Bud returns from the Demon World with the crushed Calendar Machine and Mayahuel.
- Bud destroys the remains of the Calendar Machine by launching it into the sun.
- Phix visits Monica in human form, meets Gregory Fields, and soon begins a relationship with him.
- Kevin is one week away from returning from his duck blind.
- Amanda first meets Tina, then she first meets Phix. Phix formally invites Monica to use the Library, through a local annex. Phix clarifies the status quo with Tina.
- Two years after Monica is introduced to the Golem Girls, she reveals the existence of the supernatural world to Amanda.
- The rogue demons are brought before Phix, who judges them. "They will no longer be a problem".
- Kevin returns from his duck blind.
- Monica rediscovers a sand bar in the Bermuda Triangle which is perfect for beach parties.
- Stinky delivers the sunken U-296 to Bud at the sandbar. Bud explores it and retrieves the Lanthian Relic, but triggers a booby trap set by the captain, destroying the sub and the sandbar.
- Shelly handles the Lanthian Relic and is sent to the Sacred Forest World, which acts as the "flywheel" for the Calendar Machine resets. She lives there as a sphinx for about 80,000 years (on the opposite arrow of time), but is returned to Minneapolis only a moment after she left.
{2010 March 4 - Shelly warns Winter its days are numbered, and slips on ice}
- Phix returns Nudge to the Library, and drives her out of Tina. The Library declares their punishments are at an end, and assigns them both as Head Librarians.
{2010 November 15 - Monica surprised by snow.}
{2011 March 11 - Monica struck by snow.}
- Bud brings the powered Relic to Mayahuel, and together they install it into Jin. Jin reboots as a golem with fragile human parameters, but her mental difficulties are eliminated. Upon realizing her situation, Jin attempts suicide, but is rescued by Bud, who only manages to break Jin's nose and some ribs in the process.
- Brandi is only informed of the powering of the Relic and the repair of Jin afterwards, and becomes enraged.
- Monica returns to Daren's after an absence of a few years.
{2011 December 7 - Monica is convinced she is safe from a sneak attack by snow, since it is already Winter.}
2012
January 1? Shelly gets into a drunken bar fight with racists.
- Shelly and Justin inadvertently reveal their supernatural natures to one another.
- Shelly introduces Justin to Brandi, and Bud is embarrassed as her yokel flirtation towards Justin is exposed.
- Monica takes Tina to meet Lydia, and they encounter Lydia's mentor's elite bra ninjas.
- Vampire FBI agents Pratt and McBride are reassigned to Minneapolis after McBride eats a suspect.
- Shelly takes classes with Phix at the Library to control her metamorphoses. Phix reveals to her that Justin is an amnesiac Titan, Epimetheus, brother to Prometheus. The implications of this subterfuge enrage Shelly, and she threatens Phix. Bia intervenes, and reveals to Shelly that Shelly is a Titan, and that Phix is her grandmother, but attempts to hide that she herself is Shelly's mother. Monica and Euryale poit in on a surprise visit, and Shelly flees to the exterior of the Library. In front of the remaining ladies, Nudge confronts Bia with the truth of how Bia tricked the Wahnees, enraging Phix who uses her local authority to eject Bia. Phix is then provoked by the sphinx Medeia, and Phix kills her. Monica and Euryale witness the result of this killing, sending Monica into shock and withdrawal for a couple weeks.
- Shelly begins to make attempts to explain to Monica how she is the widely-feared Jaguar Girl. Euryale accidentally flash freezes Monica for the third time, ultimately setting off a reaction of Monica's soul, causing it to partially and briefly disembody. Shelly and Bud are witnesses and unsurprised. Efforts to explain to Monica that she is the Jaguar Girl and a descendant of Phoenix are met with derision until Bud punches Monica's heart out, and she regenerates to a state she existed in during the Calendar ritual, memories intact.
- Pratt and McBride recognize Monica on the street.
- Charon assigns his daughter Tsillah to act as Monica's liasion, and she introduces herself to her and Doubt.
- Tsillah introduces herself to Pratt and McBride, and inducts them into the MIB.
- Brandi introduces herself to Lily as Senior Director of the MIB, aka The Chess Master.
December 21 End of Mayan Long Count. 13th Bak'tun begins. --mayan-calendar.com
- Monica sleeps through the change of bak'tun off-Earth, in the safety of Limbo. The Library recognizes her as a sub-Titan, granting her access to all its portals.
2013
- Tsillah formally introduces Pratt and McBride to Monica, before Phix shows up and tries to destroy them.
- Katherine first meets Atsali, in the Bibliothiki.
August 1 Marriage Equality comes into effect in Minnesota.